The most helpful book I've read since my miscarriage, Karen Edmisten's After Miscarriage
is a hodge-podge of poems, quotes, bible passages, short contributions from various people who have
lost a child, and pieces from the
author's journal. Many of the poems, quotes, and scripture passages did
not deal directly with miscarriage or even death (though some certainly
did), which helped me understand the universality of the emotions I
felt. I also appreciated the shortness of it all - no single piece
within the book is more than a few pages long, so I could pick it up,
read a short passage or a single quote and put it back down if it were
too much all at once. That said, I read it all in just a few days,
though I feel like I will continue to refer back to it often during the
difficult times in the coming months and years.
After
having five miscarriages, Edmisten has experienced a range of
emotions and put these into a short but thorough resource for Catholic
women after pregnancy loss. It is a blessing to read others'
experiences and realize that the strange new emotions I was feeling are
actually "normal" for the context. Reading through the various pieces
by women (and one man) who have "been there" made me feel much less alone,
especially since I have very few people in my daily life who have had a
miscarriage. I found myself relating to most of the passages, and even
those I did not personally find connection with helped me understand how
others' grieving processes may differ from my own. I found the book to
be very nurturing and uplifting, free of platitudes and
generalizations.
My
only critique of this book is of a poem it contains that referred to a
baby having a "pair of wings". Many of the resources I've encounter
talk about "angel babies", a concept that is not consistent with my
Catholic faith (angels and humans are separate beings, one cannot become
the other), and I was very much looking forward to reading a
specifically Catholic resource that would not include that reference.
Obviously, that one poem can be easily overlooked.
Though
written specifically for Catholics, most of the books should be
helpful to Christians of all denominations and I would recommend it as a
gift to give a friend who has recently experienced a loss. I have, in
fact, have sent it to three women in the past two months since reading
it myself and thought about starting a ministry to send it to women for
free. It turns out there already is one: A Magnolia Sweet Healing. Click over to see how you can get a copy for free or how you can donate to help women receive copies of this book.
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